{"id":115986,"date":"2025-07-25T00:18:03","date_gmt":"2025-07-25T04:18:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/africatodaynewsnewyork.com\/?p=115986"},"modified":"2025-07-25T00:35:55","modified_gmt":"2025-07-25T04:35:55","slug":"jumping-like-wifi-since-1999-a-satirical-series-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/africatodaynewsnewyork.com\/2025\/07\/25\/jumping-like-wifi-since-1999-a-satirical-series-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Jumping Like WiFi Since 1999: A Satirical Series\u2014Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

From Umbrella to Broom and Back Again
\n<\/em><\/strong>
\n<\/strong>By Prof. MarkAnthony Nze<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

In saner climes, switching political parties is a matter of ideological divergence. In Nigeria, it\u2019s a matter of \u201cwho go give me ticket?\u201d This episode unpacks the sacred dance of defection \u2014 that rhythmic shoki<\/em> Nigerian politicians perform every election cycle. Call it political agility. Call it shameless gymnastics. Here, we simply call it waka about democracy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

One day, it\u2019s broom. Next week, it\u2019s umbrella. Before you blink, they\u2019re flying chicken, dancing torchlight, or identifying as \u201ctechnocrat with no party affiliation.\u201d But give them a juicy appointment or a juicyer envelope, and boom \u2014 they remember their \u201cgrassroots base.\u201d<\/p>\n

And they never leave quietly. No, it\u2019s always with maximum volume and minimum shame.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ll call a press conference and declare with full chest:<\/p>\n

\u201cMy conscience no longer aligns with the direction of the party.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ah! That same conscience that collected constituency allowance without building toilet? That same conscience that traveled abroad while your ward health center was overgrown with weeds?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s not kid ourselves: Nigerian politicians don\u2019t defect for principle. They defect for primary. When Party A denies them ticket, Party B suddenly becomes \u201cthe vehicle to rescue Nigeria.\u201d Give them another four years and enough rice, and they\u2019ll rescue Nigeria into the hands of Party C \u2014 or whoever is serving pepper soup and promise.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the Only-in-Naija Syndrome: where someone can criticize a party on Monday, defect on Tuesday, collect form on Wednesday, and insult loyal members by Thursday. Friday is for thanksgiving. Saturday, he\u2019s back in the same church he used to mock his new party in. Sunday? He goes live on Instagram to say:<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is not about me. This is about service.\u201d<\/p>\n

Oga, abeg rest. This is about survival. You\u2019ve built your entire political career like one long game of musical chairs<\/em>. Whenever the music stops, you just need to make sure you\u2019re still sitting on one party\u2019s platform \u2014 ideology be damned.<\/p>\n

\n

Read also: Jumping Like WiFi Since 1999: A Satirical Series\u2014Part 1<\/a><\/strong><\/h1>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Even the parties don\u2019t mind. They\u2019ll welcome defectors with open arms and closed eyes. No screening, no shame. A former enemy today becomes \u201cour esteemed leader\u201d tomorrow. Because in Nigeria, there are no permanent friends, no permanent enemies \u2014 just permanent ambition.<\/p>\n

And you\u2019ll hear them again:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve returned to the umbrella because my people asked me to.\u201d
\nYour people? You mean your PA, your loyal boy, and that one media aide you met on Twitter?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a cycle: Umbrella to broom to umbrella again. No development. No accountability. Just perpetual political laundering.<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s call it what it is:
\nNot defection.
\nRebranding.
\nNot party politics.
\nStomach politics.<\/p>\n

These men aren’t party faithful \u2014 they’re ideological prostitutes, switching allegiance for the next best client.<\/p>\n

And if you still believe it’s about \u201cservice to the people,\u201d
\nthen maybe you need deliverance \u2014 or at least, new glasses.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Professor MarkAnthony Ujunwa Nze<\/strong>\u00a0is a distinguished Nigerian-born investigative journalist, public intellectual, and global governance analyst, whose work spans critical intersections of media, law, and policy. His expertise extends across strategic management, leadership, and international business law, where he brings a nuanced understanding of institutional dynamics, cross-border legal frameworks, and executive decision-making in complex global environments.<\/em><\/p>\n

Currently based in New York, Professor Nze serves as a full tenured professor at the New York Centre for Advanced Research. There, he spearheads interdisciplinary research at the forefront of governance innovation, corporate strategy, and geopolitical risk. Widely respected for his intellectual rigor and principled advocacy, he remains a vital voice in shaping ethical leadership and sustainable governance across emerging and established democracies.<\/em><\/p>\n

Africa Today News, New York<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From Umbrella to Broom and Back Again By Prof. MarkAnthony Nze In saner climes, switching political parties is a matter of ideological divergence. In Nigeria, it\u2019s a matter of \u201cwho go give me ticket?\u201d This episode unpacks the sacred dance of defection \u2014 that rhythmic shoki Nigerian politicians perform every election cycle. Call it political […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":115988,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-115986","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion","pmpro-has-access"],"yoast_head":"\nJumping Like WiFi Since 1999: A Satirical Series\u2014Part 2<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In saner climes, switching political parties is a matter of ideological divergence. 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